I generally I don't mind taking care of people and I don't mind people depending on me. However, there's a personality type that I don't like very much: the chronically needy.
They've forgotten something. They're missing something. They have to use something you have. Just for now. Just for a while. At first, this is not a problem. Who hasn't forgotten stuff at home? After a while, though, a pattern emerges. They seem to be in this perpetual state of emergency that needs your intervention or else they'll just curl up and die. The truth is, they aren't really helpless. They just want to use their neediness to get attention and affirmation. In some cases, neediness sparks a conversation. In other cases, it is the first move in seduction. In still other cases, the neediness is a way to get others to foot the bill that you don't want to pay, to conserve your own resources at other people's expense (literally). This works with a some people--those who need to be needed--because it makes them feel indispensible, as if someone's world turns on their say-so.
Chronic neediness doesn't work on me. On the contrary, it annoys me. I can generally tell when I'm being manipulated. There are times when it's fun, but mostly, you can sell your neediness to someone else who's buying. I admire capable people who exhaust their own resources before asking for help. When they do ask for help, I'm more than willing to lend a hand. It's these times when I really do think that I am needed.
